Ms. Sassy,
I've been in a relationship with this girl for a few months. Things were good but I jumped the gun, and let her move in with me when her last living situation wasn't working out. All I can say is, "BAD idea." She clamors for my attention from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed. The only relief I get is when I'm at work. I figured I could talk to her like a rational human being and let her know that I needed space. Somehow she misconstrued that to mean, "Cling to me for dear life." I'm at the end of my rope, I can't take her or this relationship anymore. If I thought blowing my brains out might help, I would try it but I'm not sure she wouldn't try to follow me to the afterlife. HELP!
-Need Some Space

Need Some Space,
I'm LMAO at your predicament. Oh you poor naive man, don't invite any girl to live with you unless you and that girl have exchanged vows. Now the only way to get rid of this girl, short of using a shotgun is by decimating her heart. And even that's not guaranteed to work. Seriously, what the hell were you thinking?! Obviously, you're a nice guy. You thought, "Hey, my GF is in a bind and I'm not an ass so I'll volunteer to help her out and let her stay with me for awhile." Your GF, however, was thinking, "OMG, I can't believe he asked me to move in, he must really love me. He's so great, there's no way in hell I'm going to let him getaway. He's definitely a keeper!" See how that works? Doing something nice for your girl gets you laid, doing something too nice gets you screwed, majorly. She has no intention of loosening her sleeper grip on you until you're rendered unconscious, so she can have an easier time dragging you down the aisle, because rally who wants to deal with all the kicking and screaming. Avoid this woman like the plague. When she calls don't answer and if you make the mistake of forgetting this cardinal rule, then keep the convo short. Let her know that you're about to head out to meet with friends. If she drops by unexpectedly, leave her standing outside knocking, even if she knows you're home. Make getting to you as difficult as possible and eventually she'll mosey on over to someone else.