Ms. Sassy,
I have a roommate now and he literally is from the jungle. He's Filipino, and I'm discovering that there are TONS of things I have to make rules about that I never imagined I would have to do. He throws his toilet paper in the TRASH, he doesn't lock the door all the time when he comes home, he leaves faucets dripping, he doesn't turn off the lights when he's done with them, and he leaves clean dishes in the sink. I'm scared he might forget to turn off the stove since he's showing major signs of being a forgetful person.
I don't want to come off as a nagging roommate, but COME ON! I haven't even touched on the little things like the toilet seat being left up or MY Britta water filter not getting refilled NOR refrigerated. How can I tell if my concerns are legit or if I'm just being a nag? How should I approach him about all of my concerns cause I've addressed each one individually, but it seems like he needs reminders. He's a good person and we vibe very well, so I feel conflicted. I wanna keep him but I feel like he's a liability. Should I keep him or just kick his ass out? HELP.
-Conflicted Roomie
Conflicted Roomie,
First off, what's with the jungle reference? You're insinuating that your Filipino roommate is some sort of savage because he's from the jungle. A different culture doesn't mean worse or better it just means different. But your bigoted viewpoint is a whole other issue.
The issue at hand is your living situation. I've traveled all over Asia and I can tell you that your roommates little "habits" are nothing more than cultural differences. Most Asian countries don't have the best plumbing, so you don't flush toilet paper, unless you want to run the risk of clogging up the toilet. Hell, you're lucky if toilet paper is eve an option. In most instances you use a water hose to rinse, air dry, and then pull up your pants, so...This is the same with locking the door. I lived in a city in Korea and the crime rate was less than 3%. The big news of the day was someone stealing a bike. Do you see what I'm getting at?
It's not that you're roommate is forgetful, he just needs time to adjust to a different culture. If you two get along, then I would definitely keep him on as a roommate. I suggest making a list of house rules and then sitting down with him to review each rule. For every rule you have listed, take the time to explain why it's a rule and what could possibly happen if that particular rule isn't followed, i.e. "We both need to remember to always lock the door behind ourselves. You know, otherwise someone could just walk right into our apartment and take, or things or worse."
Once you've had that discussion, give it some time, about a month. If you're still having problems then let him know that his inability to adhere to the house rules is becoming a serious problem and that things need to change or else you're going to have to find a new roommate.
I have a roommate now and he literally is from the jungle. He's Filipino, and I'm discovering that there are TONS of things I have to make rules about that I never imagined I would have to do. He throws his toilet paper in the TRASH, he doesn't lock the door all the time when he comes home, he leaves faucets dripping, he doesn't turn off the lights when he's done with them, and he leaves clean dishes in the sink. I'm scared he might forget to turn off the stove since he's showing major signs of being a forgetful person.
I don't want to come off as a nagging roommate, but COME ON! I haven't even touched on the little things like the toilet seat being left up or MY Britta water filter not getting refilled NOR refrigerated. How can I tell if my concerns are legit or if I'm just being a nag? How should I approach him about all of my concerns cause I've addressed each one individually, but it seems like he needs reminders. He's a good person and we vibe very well, so I feel conflicted. I wanna keep him but I feel like he's a liability. Should I keep him or just kick his ass out? HELP.
-Conflicted Roomie
Conflicted Roomie,
First off, what's with the jungle reference? You're insinuating that your Filipino roommate is some sort of savage because he's from the jungle. A different culture doesn't mean worse or better it just means different. But your bigoted viewpoint is a whole other issue.
The issue at hand is your living situation. I've traveled all over Asia and I can tell you that your roommates little "habits" are nothing more than cultural differences. Most Asian countries don't have the best plumbing, so you don't flush toilet paper, unless you want to run the risk of clogging up the toilet. Hell, you're lucky if toilet paper is eve an option. In most instances you use a water hose to rinse, air dry, and then pull up your pants, so...This is the same with locking the door. I lived in a city in Korea and the crime rate was less than 3%. The big news of the day was someone stealing a bike. Do you see what I'm getting at?
It's not that you're roommate is forgetful, he just needs time to adjust to a different culture. If you two get along, then I would definitely keep him on as a roommate. I suggest making a list of house rules and then sitting down with him to review each rule. For every rule you have listed, take the time to explain why it's a rule and what could possibly happen if that particular rule isn't followed, i.e. "We both need to remember to always lock the door behind ourselves. You know, otherwise someone could just walk right into our apartment and take, or things or worse."
Once you've had that discussion, give it some time, about a month. If you're still having problems then let him know that his inability to adhere to the house rules is becoming a serious problem and that things need to change or else you're going to have to find a new roommate.