Hey guys and dolls.
I'm sure you're all wondering where I've been. Well, I've been a busy little bee. I'm currently working on giving the site a much needed makeover, which should be ready for the big reveal mid-March. But don't worry, you can still catch me in all my sassy glory on Examiner.com

Kiss Kiss

Hey there kiddies.
Sorry about the delayed post, my internet has been acting weird since yesterday. Anywho, I just wanted to tell you all thanks for all the great story submissions for the giveaway. They definitely had me rolling on the floor with laughter and a couple actually made me blush. I want to say CONGRATULATIONS to Velva!

Velva, your story was so great. I could actually picture the whole mishap and it had me rolling with laughter. I hope you and your SO put all the goodies to good use. What all is Thelma being gifted with? Well, this sexy goody basket includes:
Betty Beauty (pubic hair dye) in various colors
Vaginal Tightening Cream
Sex Book
Durex Condoms assortment pack
Durex Lubricant assortment pack
Betty Beauty panties
Betty Beauty reusable tote
Lipstick Vibrator

Velva, enjoy the goodies!

It's Friday, which means it's "sexy time."

What's on the menu this week? Well, I love sex and I love baths so I thought, "Why not mix the two?" This week is more about sassy sexy time than it is about a sassy sexual position. Why not unwind after a long week of dealing with incompetent co-workers by treating yourself to hot relaxing bubble bath? Spend at least one day this weekend getting it on in the tub.

Set the mood. Light a few almond scented candles, to help bust your boyfriend/husband's sex drive. Draw yourself a nice warm bath, turn on some sexy tunes, grab your guy, hit the lights, and the two of you sink into the tub for a nice long steep. The best thing about sex in the tub is that you can get as down and dirty as you want and still stay clean.

Have fun!

Hey ladies and gents!

Thanx for all the awesome porn story submissions. LMAO. I can't even post the story from last weeks winner, because I'm pretty sure they stole it off a free sex story website. Personally, I like the funny sex stories best but I didn't get any of those lost week. Oh well, ya saucy minxes.

This week let's keep it simple. The first people to submit a sex question will be getting their EdenFantasys.com coupon. Can't wait to read your questions.

Good Morning, all!
I have to say that it has been a tough week. So tough that I can't even think about sex today. But I did, just for you I thought about sex and found a great position that stays in line with my homage to Texas. Yes, I'm still here. Why not give the Sitting Bull a try this weekend?

The giver sits in on his/her knees with his legs spread open. The receiver lies on his/her back and swings their legs over their partners shoulders. Yeah, I know it sounds confusing but it's not and it's a very comfortable position, so neither one of you will get worn out too quickly. Give it a go and maybe throw some rope in for good measure ;)

Stay Sassy!

I was on my way to dinner with a friend a few weeks ago and drove past the Vivid building, in Studio City, and it got me to thinking. What is it about porn, that keeps us watching? Personally, I watch for tips and tricks, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it. Trust me, everyone can learn something from watching porn. Don't Forget to Breathe
This is imperative if you don't want fellatio to lead to you dying from asphyxiation. Watch a butt load of pornos that pan in tight during the oral sex scenes, take notes and recreate what you see. And since I take moaning as a sign of pleasure, I can only assume that the hours of defiling my vision with sights of Jenna J. performing oral sex has paid off.

Cue The Sound
Some accurately placed "Ooos" and "Aahhs" is all it takes to get a guys motor running, sometimes. Loud sex is so much hotter than "doing it" to the background noise of crickets or dogs barking down the street. If my guy is sending me on a mind blowing, toe curling rocket trip to the moon, then I want to let the whole world know it, especially him. Like the girls in the adult industry, good sex just can't be good sex without, "Oh my God...Yeah...Right there...Do me just like that..." You get the gist.

Look How They Bend
This is by far the most appealing reason behind sitting through 30 minutes of bad acting. You weather the crap to see the good stuff...the positions! I was actually watching a movie the other day and saw some interesting kind of lotus position I want to try. I even saw a movie where a girl did a hand-stand as her grand finale. While I haven't had that kind of flexibility since I quit gymnastics, all the bendy posses make you feel randy. Let them inspire you to try new things in the sack.

Girls Are Hot
I think sex with a man is the most wonderful mind blowing experience there is. But watching porn has definitely opened my mind to the appeal of girl on girl action. I know, I know, entertaining such thoughts are strictly against my religious upbringing. But girls are sexy, damn it. And the thought of kissing a pair of soft perfectly glossed lips makes things happen in my pants.

Always Be Prepared
Yes, watching porn has taught me the importance of sexy underwear. Always be prepared for sex. That includes everything from landscaping, to baby smooth skin, and having a sexy little something on underneath your clothes. You never know when you may need to pause in the middle of your day to make sweet sweet love to a random stranger.

It's Monday! I know Monday's usually suck. But this Monday you're going to be too busy trying to win the Ultimate Ms. Sassy Sex Giveaway. Take a look at all the goodies I have for one lucky gal, or guy, I don't discriminate. All you have to do is email Ms. Sassy the juiciest deets of one of your steamiest or most embarrassing sexcapades. It doesn't really matter just as long as it's good, and submitted by February 6th. The best Sassy Sex submission will win the goodies pictured, below, along with a few other trinkets not seen. Think about it. The more sex you have the less stressed you feel, the less stressed you feel the more relaxed you you are, the more relaxed you are the better you feel, the better you feel the more productive you are, the more productive you are the happier you are, and the happier you are the easier it is to spread that happiness to others. So I am helping you spread happiness to the world, which will eventually lead to world peace. Man, I'm so freakin' awesome! So submit you stories and do your part to make the world a better place.

You all know about my Weekly Sassy Sex Giveaway. Well, the story below was the best sex story of the bunch. I laughed so hard I could barely breathe. Best of all the story really hit him, as my now ex-boyfriend and I had many a sexy rendezvous in my Yaris hatchback at the beach, as well. It was like a story out of my own life. Anywho, keep reading for a good laugh. Ms. Sassy,
Usually my sex encounters go relatively smoothly... I've never really had any bad or embarrassing stories - UNTIL! Julian.

This was a boy I had been seeing for about a month (After knowing him for over 2 years... he was a manager at the place where I change my oil.) Well, we had decided to take a spur-of-the-moment trip to Daytona around 2am. When we got there, we were the only people on the beach... it was slightly chilly so we wrapped ourselves around each other to keep warm... oh, so romantic! Well, since it was our first time being "intimate" with one another, we decided it would be best to go back to my car since sand gets uncomfortable when it finds your naughty bits!

So here we are, parked in a remote motel parking lot in my tiny Toyota Yaris Hatchback, about to get down and dirty! I'm all revved up and ready to go, so we tear each other's clothes off and get things started. Things were going pretty well until I started going down south. While I was on my knees in my seat and he was sitting in the passenger seat, my ass somehow bumped the horn. A pathetic little *BEEP BEEEEEP* shocked us, but we laughed it off and kept going. Then, as I was moving to straddle him, I accidentally hit the wiper blades, which made a wretched *SCREEEEECH SCREEEEEECH SCREEEEECH* Again, we laughed it off and kept going. When we were finally about to experience penetration, I adjusted myself to get better leverage, and the worst happened. My left knee slipped into the crack between the car seat and the door (And got stuck!!), and my right knee, trying to catch me, ended up landing right on his "mini Julian!"

Mortified, and slightly scared by his loud "AHHHHH!!!!!", I started getting flustered. I couldn't for the life of me get my left knee unstuck, and him wriggling around in pain trying to get out from under me didn't help much either. Finally, sick and tired of being calm and collected, I just opened the passenger door at the same time he tried to lift me off of him, causing me to fall onto the pavement butt naked. I immediately rushed back into the car at which point he says, "I think there's a security guard over there watching us."

Needless to say, we left without even getting all of our clothes on. The hour and a half ride home was awkward, to say the least.
-Jen

Well Jen, thanks for the laugh. And I hope Julian's peen is okay.

It's been a crazy week. Hasn't it? Well, thankfully it's Friday, which means it's time to dust off those sexy memories. I want to do things a little different this week. Instead of awarding the 15% off any EdenFantsys.com product, I want to give away coupons to the first 15 sassiest sex moments submitted. Now I had a lot of you all who voiced interest in wanting to enter the contest and then didn't submit a story. So just to make sure you have things straight, you have to tell me about a sassy sex moment you've had. It can be good, bad, funny...it doesn't matter. But you have to send me something to be entered in the giveaway. Feel free to post your story as a comment below or email me by CLICKING HERE. I can't wait to read this weeks submissions. Good Luck!

Hey guys and dolls, it's Friday! Any Friday is a good Friday, but a Friday with a free Sassy Sex Giveaway is an awesome Friday. Starting this week, why not enter to win a little something to go along with the weekly Sassy Sex Position. Thanks to the sexperts over at EdenFantasys, you can enter to win a coupon, good for 15% off any sexy something of your choice. They offer everything, from books on how to be a tiger in the sack to sassy lingerie to all the toys you can imagine.

What does it take to get your hands on your free goody? Well, just write in about your juiciest, sassiest, sauciest sex moment. It can be steamy or embarrassing, but make it good. The best story submission for the week will win. And don't get greedy, only one entry per person.

Click here to pop over to the site and start picking out what you'll treat yourself to. And email your submission by CLICKING HERE.