Ms. Sassy,
I have always been a girl with a purpose. I always have a plan and stick to to get what I want out of life. But lately, I feel as if I'm floundering. My relationship with my boyfriend is totally up in the air. We're at the point where we're either need to move forward and get engaged or just break-up, and I'm sicking of renting. I want to own a house. I feel like I need a change, but I'm not sure what those changes need to be. I have decided to start my own business but I have no financial security. Right now I feel so overwhelmed that it's keeping me from making any definite decisions about my future. -Standing Still

Standing Still,
Well, it sounds like you're ready to put down some roots and have a family, my dear. And there's nothing wrong with admitting that. There is definitely a certain appeal to having someone in your life who you can depend on till death do you part and then populating the earth with mini versions of yourselves. If that is what you really want then, there ya go. You have your next direction/path to follow.
You need to sit your boyfriend down and express to him what you want, to marry him and have a family, to make a life together for yourselves. Let him know that you're ready to take the next step and make a plan for the two of you. Figure out when you want to be engaged by, how you want to go about saving for a house, will you move in together before you tie the knot to save money, etc. However, if he's not on the same page then cut him lose and chalk it up to life experience. Then, go join eHarmony and find yourself someone who wants the same things out of life that you do.

Best of Luck on your new life path!

Dear Ms. Sassy,
This past summer I landed what I thought was my dream job. I was hired to work for one of the major studios in Hollywood on a nationally syndicated talk show, and not one of those trashy ones either. I'm talking about a legit show on the same level as Oprah. Anyway, 6 months later and I'm about ready to strangle my boss or lose all my hair. She's constantly on my back. To make matters worse, my boss is piling tasks on me that really should be done by her. There literally aren't enough hours in the day for me to get my work done, much less hers. Hence, my paranoia of being fired. I honestly don't know what to do. I have put my blood sweat and tears into that show, which I'm pretty sure will contribute to us receiving a Daytime Emmy nod. What do I do? I want an Emmy damn it!
-Unemployment Bound

Unemployment Bound,
This one is a head scratcher. If I were in your shoes I would hang around until they gave me walking papers, and once they did I would kick it on my couch and let the unemployment checks come pouring in. Your other option, of course, is to stay and start circulating your resume. Once you have something else lined up then you can feel free to leave. However, since the possibility of receiving a Daytime Emmy is involved, I have to say you should just stick it out. Try talking to your boss or even her boss, if you're feeling brave. Let her know that you love your job and want to do your best but you don't feel you are able to really offer your best work do to time constraints and you wanted to talk to her about feasible ways to alleviate the problem. If you come at it that way, and brainstorm together then she seems like the big hero and you get what you need to knock everyone's socks off. When you're accepting your Daytime Emmy, remember to give a shout out to Ms. Sassy!

Ms. Sassy,
I'm 15 years old and I've never been kissed. Is that weird?
-Never Been Kissed

Never Been Kissed,
I remember my first kiss. I was in 8th grade and I went to the movies with some friends to see Bed of Roses on Super Bowl Sunday. Gosh, I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember that was possibly the worst kiss I've ever head. LOL.
The fact that you haven't had your first kiss yet is in no way weird! You're only 15. What's the hurry? Believe me, once you start kissing guys it's only a matter of time before they start wanting you to do more. And who needs that kind of pressure? Enjoy the fact that you don't have a bunch of bone-heads pressuring you to do things that you're not ready to do. Just sit back and relax. The kiss will happen when it's supposed to. And when it does, you'll be wondering what all the hype is about.

Hey, Sassy Guys and Sassy Girls. While hanging out on my fave blog, AskEJean.com, I came across this post. It was so titillating that I just had to share it with you. Check out the question along with my answer, below, click here to see what others had to say about Miss Beth's dilemma.

Miss Beth wrote:
My guy and I started talking again in July after nothing for six months, from there four months of coffee dates and, um, restraint and talking, he calls to say he's ready for more and is looking forward to his birthday next week when he may get a little birthday, *ahem*, favor.

I go to Canada, come back, send him an email, he replies 'back off.'

This was two months ago - This man promised that he would not leave me thinking I was going to see him the next day and then never speak to me again, which he's done before. In fact, when we started talking again, it was the ONLY thing he promised.

Well, I emailed yesterday, he says he has a new girlfriend. Fine. Whatever. I'm insisting he see me. I have things to say to him. And I just want to give the guy a hug and say so long - if it's so hard for him he shouldn't be saying goodbye to me so suck it up like we did in eight grade, look me in the eye and say, "I can't see you anymore".

Miss Beth,
I understand this guy hurt you, but he obviously doesn't want to be bothered with you anymore. Whether he's moved on for real, or he's just full of crap, let him go. He's not worth the time or energy you're spending whining and obsessing over him.
Go grab your girlfriends, get all dolled up and hit up your fave club. Dance with hot guys, let them buy you drinks and forget about him. Think of this as the opportunity to start your next great love affair.

Dear Ms. Sassy,
I love my guy but I am so angry at him. I feel like all he ever does lately is make excuses, excuses for coming up short. I've gotten to the point where I don't feel like I can depend on him. Anytime he tells me he's going to do something the first thought I have is, "Yeah right, don't hold your breathe because he's totally going to flake on you." I love him, more than I've ever loved anyone but I can't handle the constant disappointment. Should I cut my loses and move on or chalk it up to immaturity.
-Ball Crusher

Ball Crusher,
Believe me, I understand being so angry at your guy that you want to crush his man-meat. But leaving him unable to reproduce won't solve the problem. You say he offers excuses for coming up short, which leads me to believe that he's at least making an effort. And if he's at least doing that much then you should talk to him. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. Guys are dumb, and unless you communicate the severity of your feelings or how his actions, or lack of actions are affecting your relationship then he won't know that he needs to get it together, and fast.
Talk to him and let him know what's up. Let him know, very plainly, that you are unhappy in your relationship with him and his lax approach to keeping his word is making you think that you're wasting your time staying in a relationship with him. He'll either take what you say to heart, which means crisis averted, or he'll keep doing what he's been doing. In that case kick his sorry rear to the curb, and maybe work in a hit to his junk. Hey, in that case he's got it commin'!

Ms. Sassy,
I spent this past Thanksgiving with friends. It was great, we ate a ton of food, watched TV, gossiped, played karaoke, and indulged in alcohol. I, however, overindulged. I'm not sure how much I drank, but it was a lot, and by the time I sobered up I was wandering around on the streets alone, with no coat or shoes. I finally got my friends to talk to me long enough to tell me what happened and I was mortified.
Apparently I had become unruly, so my friend's sister kicked me out of their apartment. When they tried to take me home I jumped out of the car, while it was moving, at the freeway on ramp and refused to get back inside the car. I physically assaulted my friends boyfriend when he tried to get me back in the car, I was rolling around on the ground in the middle of the freeway exit/entrance ramp, and became so indignant that the police driving by threatened to throw us all in jail, even though I was the only one who was drunk. At that point my friends decided they weren't going to jail because I couldn't hold my liquor so they made sure I got to a well light bus stop, although the buses weren't running, and left me there. When I finally sobered up I had no clue what had happened and called my ex to come pick me up and take me home. Needless to say, my friends are no longer speaking to me and I'm not welcome at their home.
With Christmas just around the corner I really don't want to spend the holidays alone but it looks like that's what's going to happen unless I can figure out some way to get back into their good graces. I know I acted like a total jerk. The last time I got that drunk around them I threw up in my friends brand new car. So I kind of feel like I've run out of chances. Is there any way I can make amends for such a horrific list of transgressions?
-Home Alone

Home Alone,
Just so you know, I was shaking my head through your entire email, and laughing. First off, what the hell where you thinking? I have to say that if you had thrown up in my brand new car I would have stopped being your friend right then and there. There wouldn't have been any second chances. Lucky for you it sounds like your friend, or friends, are very forgiving. But honey, no amount of groveling is going to help them forgive you for ruining their Thanksgiving. You made them mad enough to leave you on the street corner in the middle of the night, so I'd say your fate is pretty much sealed.
On the other hand, at least you've learned a very important lesson, or at least I hope you have. Either you can't hold your liquor or you don't know when to say when, either way you and drinking outside of the comfort of your own home don't seem to mix too well. So, keep your boozing private like any other good alcoholic and in the future do not subject your friends to the jackassness that is you on a bender.

Ms. Sassy,
I think I lost my mojo. If it's not all already gone then it's definitely in short supply. Where did it go? How do I get it back?
-Mojoless

Mojoless,
Oh girl, I feel your pain. When most people hear the word mojo they think of Austin Powers but anyone who's every really possessed mojo knows better. It's actually what the French refer to as a certain Je ne sais quoi (I don't know what). Some people have it in spades and some people don't but for those who do, it feels like a nightmare when it feels like you've lost it. Nothing seems to go quite right. You're constantly second guessing yourself, it's like you're not you anymore. Think of having an identity crisis and you can somewhat comprehend what I'm talking about.
So, how do you get it back? Honestly? Beats the hell out of me. I usually just fake it till I make it. It sucks when you don't feel like you have a handle anything and you definitely don't feel like your fabulous self. Just keeping acting liking your regular old self. Convince everyone else that you're fine and eventually you'll believe it too. And Voila! You're mojo is back.

Dear Ms. Sassy,
Basically I would like some advice. I am in a relationship with a great guy, almost everything I am looking for except....there is no passion. There is no sexual attraction. He is average looking, average build so its not that. I believe many other women would love to be with him I just don't know what my problem is. I should be happy but I am not. Do I stay and try to make it work or get out? Another factor is that I am 30 years old and want children. I feel I am running out of time, options. Help!!! -Passion Free

Passion Free,
I think it's so sad that you are trying to convince yourself to settle for a relationship free of passion. If you really thought that living out the rest of your life in a chemistry-less relationship was OK, then you wouldn't be seeking my advice. Obviously this is a situation that doesn't sit well with you, so stop trying to force it. The only people I know who are still HAPPILY married after 20+ years are people who are absolutely crazy about/passionately in love with their spouses. Believe me, once you find that with someone, you'll wonder how you were ever able to settle for a life without it. As for the whole "kids" situation, you're only 30. You've still got a good 10 years worth of viable eggs. If you're that concerned then freeze some eggs or adopt or do artificial insemination. You have lots of options.

Ms. Sassy,
My boyfriend and I have been together for quite some time now. Every time we have sex I hurt. It doesn't feel good to me at all. I don't know whats wrong with me. He's not my first but it's never felt good, with anyone. Ive never had what people call an orgasm. I just cant get myself to get into it. Every position hurts and my partners don't enjoy themselves. Is there something wrong with me? Please help me.
-Painful Sex

Painful Sex,
Let me stat by saying that I am by no means a doctor, however it sounds like you're suffering from Dyspareunia. In layman's terms, a vaginal disorder. It could be a number of things, so your best bet is to make an appointment with your gyno. Make a list of your symptoms to take in with you and then make sure you give a detailed account of what you're experiencing during intercourse. I'm sure he or she will be able to help you clear things up in a jiff.

Hey all you Sassy Girls and Sassy Guys! Sorry for the down time. You all know how the holidays can be. You can guess that such a Sassy Woman has a pretty Sassy family and they have started descending to celebrate Thanksgiving. But don't worry, I'll be back and just as sassy come December 1st. In the meantime, thanks for all the emails seeking my wisdom. I'll have advice for all of you next week. And definitely keep your eyes peeled for the Sassy Sex giveaways. If you loved the idea of giving your vagina a sassy makeover, then you'll love the Betty Beauty giveaway I'm doing. Have a great Thanksgiving. Love, Ms. Sassy