I was surfing the net for fodder and stumbled across this jewel of an article. I just had to share it. Courtesy of DivineCaroline.com, check out what these kids have to say about love and marriage.

Is it better to be single or married?
I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out.
-Theodore, age 8

It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

How do you decide whom to marry?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
-Kristen, age 10

CLICK HERE to read the rest of this article.

Whatever! Screw you Greg Behrendt, ya jerk. "He's Just Not That Into You"...I swear, that idiotic phrase is doing more harm than good. If love, people, or even our emotions were that black and white then maybe him/her "not being into you" would make sense, but that isn't the case. Life is not neat and tidy, nor is it clean cut or black and white.

On the other hand, that movie looks good, and I have every intention on going to see it. But why do we need some guy to decode men for us? Honestly, guys you're not that complicated. If a guy treats you like boo boo, then he's just not that into you. And if he doesn't then he's probably very much into you. There, mystery solved. I'll be waiting by the phone for my offer to sign a multi-million dollar book deal.

I am one for brutal honesty. If I ask my BF "Do I look fat in this" it's because I really want to know if I should put on something more slimming. But every now and then we have to lie to the ones we love. Especially, when it comes to sparring your boyfriend's delicate feelings. Example. I absolutely hate the smell of the product my guy puts in his hair. But what am I going to do, tell him that the smell of his hair makes me want to vomit sometimes? No. Why hurt his feelings for no good reason? I know you're just dying to know what other little white lies your girlfriend is telling you? So, I figured I'd throw you a bone. Check out these 10 lies that your girlfriend's telling you.

Size Doesn't Matter
Only girls who date guys with small peens are forced to tell this lie. Fortunately, that's not me. My man is well hung and I am satisfied! But nothing can make a small penis shrink in size faster than hearing that dreaded sentence, and she is well aware of that. Hence the need to stretch the truth. Besides, if it bothered her that much then she wouldn't let your tiny man member near her va-jay-jay.

You're The Best
Are you starting to notice a trend? Most lies girls tell are linked to your man-meat. Because everyone knows that any good relationship is based on telling your guy how awesome he is in bed. She can't very well push you off of her and say "What the hell are you doing?" A girl with any kind of manners at all would never do such a thing. She knows that the best time to talk about your sexual prowess, or lack thereof, is not 5 minutes after you thought you made her climax. Keep in mind, this lie also goes hand in hand with faking an orgasm.

Yes, I Had An Orgasm
Have I told this lie? Of course. What woman hasn't? But I have to say, most lies leave me feeling guilty, so as I've grown wiser through the years I have started answering my boyfriend with a resounding, "NO." Hey if I didn't orgasm then I didn't orgasm, it's definitely not for a lack of trying on his part. But I will say that 9 out of 10 times ain't bad. Just know that if you weren't rockin' your significant other's world on a regular, then he/she wouldn't be with you. So take this one on the chin.

Go, Have Fun With The Guys
Sure, this one seems harmless enough but nonetheless it is a little white lie. Truth is, your girl wants you to go out and have fun with the guys, just not too much fun. Why? Because it's kind of hard for her to continue her delusion of you being miserable without her if she sees you coming home with a smile plastered on your face and she's not the one who put it there. So go out, have fun with the guys, and enjoy it, just let the first thing out of your mouth when you get home be, "I missed you, babe."

I Promise, I Won't Get Mad
Ladies love this one. Guys, don't fall for it. No matter how fervently she promises not to get mad at you. It's a trap. Keep your mouth shut, because the second you spill the beans you can bet your ass, or any other part of your body, that you won't be getting any poon-tang anytime soon. Honestly, I can't tell you why women use this one. I guess it's just so we can get you to fess up to what you did. It gives us more ammunition to use on you later.

Forgive And Forget
Now, most guys think that these two go together. If your girlfriend tells you that she forgives you then that's that, the dark cloud has gone and you will never again have to return to that conversation. But that's not what she is thinking. She's thinking, "He's so cute, but damn he's stupid" And just as sure as she's had that thought, months later, when you're sitting on the couch in front of the TV scratching your nads and watching the game, she's going to come in screaming and hollering and whatever that blowout was that you thought was long forgotten will be dredged up and thrown in your face. LMAO...mark my words.

I'm Not Mad
These are quite possibly the most dangerous three words in the English language. Because if she's saying she's not mad, then it means she's livid. So, why does she keep saying it? She thinks that if she says it enough times it will make it true. But alas, as you and I both know, that's not true. So, I suggest you hide all the things you love and run for cover because it's only a matter of time before her head explodes from all the seething anger coursing through her veins.

I don't Know If I Want To Get Married
She's LYING! Who the hell doesn't know if they want to get married?! If she ever says this what she's really saying is one of two things; either she wants to get married but is in denial about the fact, or she's scarred that if she admits she wants to tether herself to you it will leave you running for the hills. Any woman who doesn't want to get married will say so flat out, without having to pause to think about it. In this case, just stereotype us. IDK means yes.

I Love You Just The Way You Are
This is a huge untruth. Why? Because she wants to change everything about you. Unless you're a flaming meterosexual, then your girlfriend hates your clothes, hates your apartment decor, and thinks you are in desperate need of the kind of makeover only she can give you. Sleep with one eye open guys, or you may wake up in the morning all manscaped.

I Love Your Friends
Every woman knows that if her boyfriend's friends love her then she's home free. And if she really does love your BFFs then good for you, you've found a keeper. But if you see her cringe a bit or her skin crawl at the mere mention of them then you know she's lying. Why would she pretend to love your boys? Well, you just answered your own question. They're your boys! If she doesn't put on this facade then it's going to force you to choose between them and her, and there's a 50/50 chance that she could lose, so...

Well, there you have it. The 10 things your girlfriend is thinking but wouldn't dare say. Unless, she's trying to pick a fight to prompt a break-up, which I have done before. My advice, take this knowledge and put it in the vault. Next time you know she's telling you a white lie just roll with it. You're better left not pulling at some threads. Just be happy your SO loves you enough to spare your feelings sometimes.

All aboard the freedom train, ya'll. Woot-woot! "No Drama" Obama FINALLY made it official. On this Inauguration Tuesday, he made history by becoming the first Black president. I don't have any sage advice, except to say this. I am proud of the strives this country has made. I don't think I've ever been as proud to be an American as I am today. Watching hope bring us together as a nation, is a beautiful thing. In case you missed it, check out the clip below of the swearing in of Barack Obama and his right hand man, Joe Biden.
Stay up to the minute of this historical day in history by tuning into CNN and CNN.com

Anybody can sit down and write useless drivel and call it advice. But you know I, Ms. Sassy, would never dream of doing such a thing to my sassy readers. What I am about to present to you are 5 rules that any guy or girl can, and should, live by. Are there more than 5?! Of course, but baby steps, people. Baby steps. Just check out these first 5 and take my word that there will be more to come.

1. Follow The Golden Rule
It took me a long time understand this rule, but it emphasizes the societal practice of exhibiting common decency. Always treat others the way you want them to treat you. I firmly believe in that practice. However, you are not a doormat. Show everyone the same respect but if someone decides not to reciprocate that, then to hell with them. Treat them the exact same way they treat you. Life is to short to be bending over backwards to people if they're just going to act like ungrateful bastards.

2. Rub A Dub Dub
Bubble baths solve everything. I know, I know it seems way too simple to be true but it is. The next time you feel like your head is going to explode from a long day of dealing with idiots at work or cleaning up after your sloppy SO just run yourself a nice hot bubble baths. Now you have to make sure you include the bubbles otherwise it won't work. I love lavender scented suds or anything with a nice vanilla, honey suckle or strawberry smell. I swear soaking for 30 minutes clears all the cobwebs out of your head. When you get out of the water you'll feel like a new person. Adding a few rubber duckies add a nice touch, too. I have a couple of these on my tub, from Bath and Body Works.

3. Wipe Those Tears
I understand that every now and then everyone needs a good cry, and that's fine. But excessive crying is a HUGE Ms. Sassy don't! Why? Because it doesn't solve anything. All the time you're wasting sniveling, snotting, and making your mascara running you could be soaking in a bubble bath trying to figure out a solution to whatever it is that's making you cry. The next time you want to burst in two tears, go ahead and indulge yourself for a few minutes. Two, to be exact. Then suck it up and move on. You've got a life to live.
*If someone you love has passed away then you are allowed to cry your heart out for as long as you need.

4. Go On A Diet
Stop crying. We just talked about that! Besides, I wasn't calling you fat. But I you can bet your sweet patootie that I was referring to your SO. Yeah, that's right. He/She is an added 100+ pounds that you can do without, so get rid of him/her. I know breakups can be painful but when you think of it as having lost weight then it will cheer you right up. Next time "the love of your life" turns into "the person you wish would dies a slow and painful death" and your friends start asking if you two broke up. Simply say, "Oh, I just lost 200lbs. Don't look fabulous without all that extra fat dragging behind me?"

5. Listen To Both Sides
No, I'm not talking about being fair. Who cares about that, right now? I'm talking about the genius that is Joni Mitchell. Her masterpiece, Both Sides, Now, is poignant and spellbinding. The lyrics are quite possibly the most clever words ever put to music, sorry Kanye. CLICK HERE to have a listen, and CLICK HERE to check out the words. The song is about seeing the world in two different ways. The way we saw things in our youth and how we see things once we're older and jaded and the realization that comes with age, that we really don't know what we think we know. It makes you appreciate the beauty of living life, and all the good and the bad that goes with it.

Last night, while enjoying a brand spanking new episode of One Tree Hill, I was flabbergasted by a Clorox bleach commercial that ran during one of the breaks. The commercial was obviously targeted towards mothers, and instructed them to clean their children's toys and bottles using Clorox bleach. While that's all fine and dandy, the part that left me unnerved were the instructions that followed. Clorox instructed watchers to wash their child's things in bleachy water and then simply to let them air dry.

UHH...what happened to the rinsing stage?! What the hell Clorox, are you trying to get sued? Because let's face it, some numb-nut of a mother is going to go overboard with the use of bleach and will then pour something into her kid's bottle for him/her to drink, essentially feeding them poison and causing serious injury to the child.

For you geniuses over at Clorox, I don't know who you let convince you that that commercial was a good idea, but it's not. It's actually a very bad idea. If you want to avoid a crap load of civil suits from angry, albeit stupid, mothers then I suggest you pull the plug on this new marketing strategy, or mark my words. You'll be sorry.

Saying "I love you" is always a scary thing. But what's even scarier is being the one who says it first. While I am not a fan of playing games, I am a fan of being smart, and it seems that the brains over at CNN agree with me. You may have found the perfect guy and have fallen madly in love with him, but before you go screaming it from the rooftops stop in your tracks, shut your mouth and sit down. Why? Because it is in your best interest to let him say it first.

I don't care how chauvinist it may sound, it's the truth. I can honestly say that I have never been the first one to say those three little words, mostly because I'm an extremely emotionally guarded person who hates to feel vulnerable, but we're not talking about my emotional short comings right now. Can you imagine the sheer agony of finally working up the courage to say something so life changing, only to be met with a blank stare?! In most cases, I know a guy loves me before he's even aware that he has feelings for me. After all, what's not to love?! But, as I've said many times before, guys are slow. In the case of my guy, it takes him forever to figure out something that I knew from day one. Sure he catches up eventually but I have to let him come to the realization of things on his own.

Whether you agree, or not, it's a valid point. Argue all you want, ladies, but jumping the gun with an "I love you" means an end to your relationship. Mostly because guys scare easily. Trust me, just stay quiet and keep being your fantabulously sassy self, and the light bulb is sure to come on. One day it will hit him like a ton of bricks, how much better his life has gotten since you came into it like a ray of sunshine and turned his gray hum-drum existence into a colorful multifaceted fun filled time. He'll be saying "I love you" in no time and THEN you can oh so coolly reciprocate.

To read more about this controversial topic, check out the CNN article here.

It's finally here. New Year's Eve is upon us! If you're anything like me then you plan to party hard and drink even harder. You've got on your most fabulous "look at me everyone" party dress and a fierce pair of heels to match. You're holding your clutch in one hand and in your other hand you have a chocolate martini and you're guy is all decked out in his bestest suit. You look like a million bucks and your all set to lay one on your guy at the stroke of midnight. But hold on, the kiss to ring in the New Year is the the most important one. Make sure you lay one on your boyfriend that he's sure to remember with the 5 tips that are sure to make him want to hold onto you for the year to come.

Minty Fresh Breathe: I do not condone chewing gum at a place like a party. You're walking around looking like a cow, not to mention the taste won't mesh well with your alcoholic beverage of choice. But the only thing worse then conjuring images in your BFs head of cud chewing animals is laying a wet one on him with stinky stale breathe. Make sure you have an Altoid to pop in your mouth a few minutes before the countdown and then don't take another sip of your drink until after you've kissed him. I know, I know they're curiously strong. I pop the broken pieces. It'll alot for just the right amount of fresh breatheness.

Soft Supple Lips: Yes, that's right. No one wants to cut their mouth on your dry cracked lips. That's just shady. Before you head out for the night take a minute to exfoliate your lips. Simply take your wet toothbrush and run it over you lips for about 60 seconds. Afterward slather on the Vaseline or Chapstick, so your lips have some time to soak up the moisture. Before you apply your lipstick use a wet cloth to wipe your lips clean. They should smooth as a baby bottoms and kissably soft.

Angelina Jolie Pout: So, you're not naturally blessed with full luscious lips? That is not a problem. Pop over to Sephora today and pick up a lip plumping gloss in a complimentary shade. Personally I opt for a shade of red. Nothing says, "Come here to me," like a pair of ruby red stained lips. Try DuWop Lip Venom 2nd Sin. It goes on clear, which means you can slather it on top of whatever lip color your using and you'll have a sinfully irresistible pout. Don't forget to freshen your lipstick a few minutes before the countdown.

Keep The Lovin' At Home: Wherever you are when you do your countdown make sure that you and your honey are no further than arms length away from each other 30 seconds before the countdown. The last thing you want is to be stuck on the other side of the room when the clock strikes 12, forcing you to kiss that loser who's been loitering in the corner eying your cleavage all night. So, if you are wandering over to the bar to make sure you have a drink in hand to toast your New Year's kiss do it, so you'll have plenty of time to wait at the bar to actually be served and time to make your way through the drunken masses back to your guy.

Make It Memorable: You want to make this a kiss to remember. You want to make his toes curl and possibly evoke a chubby. What does it take to make that happen? Just as the clock is doing it's final ticking down grab his full attention. Lock eyes and hold his stare, give him that smile that makes him want to give you the world and while everyone else is finally yelling "Happy New Year," you lean in very close to him, place your hand on his chest and whisper those same words ever so gently into his ear. Then, as you pull away, brush your lips against his cheek, meet his eyes one more time and go in for the kill. Give him a soft sensual kiss, the kind that makes the whole world disappear and reminds him exactly why he loves you. No, not because you're a good kisser but because the kiss encompasses all you are; sexy, soft, gentle, passionate, surprising, disarming, and totally irresistible.

Happy New Year!

I am a total Twilight Zone junkie, so I wait all year for the New Year's Twilight Zone Marathon on the Sci-Fi channel. Yes, Ms. Sassy is a bit of a nerd. I totally plan on spending the day glued to my TV watching all those black & white classics. Then, I'll drag my butt off the couch and get ready to go out on the town with my sis, my beau, and my sisters beau. We will be hitting up an LA house party and drinking heavily.

You sassy guys and sassy girls have a fun night. Be safe and remember not to drink and drive. That's not good advice, that's just good sense. If I'm not too hung over or sore from all the sex I plan on having to end the night, then I'll post tomorrow. But don't count on it.

While businesses are folding and homes are being foreclosed on, there is one thing we can be thankful for amid this economic crisis. GREAT SEX and more of it! Are you surprised that while the economy is the crapper your sex life is soaring? Well you shouldn't be. What else is there to do when you don't have any money? It costs nothing, besides the cost of condoms, to get naked and bump uglies. Not to mention all the stress relief and euphoric triggers having sex releases.

An average day in the American life now consists of getting up at the crack of dawn, if you still have a job, checking out the Stock Market crawler on CNN while you get ready for work. You can already look forward to losing money because by the time you get home at the end of the day the market will be down 500 points, or so. You sit in rush hour traffic and curse the fact that you bought the gas guzzling car you're currently sitting in. You walk into the office and take a seat in your cubicle where you try to be incognito, and kissing all the "Higher Ups" back sides trying to keep from receiving an inevitable pink slip. At 6pm you head home to a desk full of past due bills that you don't have the money to pay because your mortgage rate has sky rocketed. With so much to be depressed about, it's no wonder more and more people are turning to sex to bring them down off that ledge.

Record high unemployment rates are the main cause of this rise in Americans' libidos. With nothing to do but scour Careerbuilder and Monster for jobs in a jobless market the best way to elevate the tension is sex. Not just sex but great sex and more of it. How? All the free times you have on your hands now allows you to do away with the totally unproductive "quicky." Save some money on your electric bill and turn down the lights, light a few candles, recycle your old lingerie, put on your old Marvin Gaye cd and enjoy the extra time to make sweet sweet love, and do it right. There's no need to rush off to work, or hurry up so you can get a good nights rest before the big meeting. So slow down and try new things, hell even do it more than once, or just get down right wild and crazy. Start here to make the worst fiscal year of your life the best sex year of your life.

So, take a break from lying around in bed eating ice cream, only getting up to put on your slippers and shuffle out to the mailbox looking for your unemployment check. You and your unemployed spouse should take turns rolling over on top of one another and doing the deed.