Anybody can sit down and write useless drivel and call it advice. But you know I, Ms. Sassy, would never dream of doing such a thing to my sassy readers. What I am about to present to you are 5 rules that any guy or girl can, and should, live by. Are there more than 5?! Of course, but baby steps, people. Baby steps. Just check out these first 5 and take my word that there will be more to come.

1. Follow The Golden Rule
It took me a long time understand this rule, but it emphasizes the societal practice of exhibiting common decency. Always treat others the way you want them to treat you. I firmly believe in that practice. However, you are not a doormat. Show everyone the same respect but if someone decides not to reciprocate that, then to hell with them. Treat them the exact same way they treat you. Life is to short to be bending over backwards to people if they're just going to act like ungrateful bastards.

2. Rub A Dub Dub
Bubble baths solve everything. I know, I know it seems way too simple to be true but it is. The next time you feel like your head is going to explode from a long day of dealing with idiots at work or cleaning up after your sloppy SO just run yourself a nice hot bubble baths. Now you have to make sure you include the bubbles otherwise it won't work. I love lavender scented suds or anything with a nice vanilla, honey suckle or strawberry smell. I swear soaking for 30 minutes clears all the cobwebs out of your head. When you get out of the water you'll feel like a new person. Adding a few rubber duckies add a nice touch, too. I have a couple of these on my tub, from Bath and Body Works.

3. Wipe Those Tears
I understand that every now and then everyone needs a good cry, and that's fine. But excessive crying is a HUGE Ms. Sassy don't! Why? Because it doesn't solve anything. All the time you're wasting sniveling, snotting, and making your mascara running you could be soaking in a bubble bath trying to figure out a solution to whatever it is that's making you cry. The next time you want to burst in two tears, go ahead and indulge yourself for a few minutes. Two, to be exact. Then suck it up and move on. You've got a life to live.
*If someone you love has passed away then you are allowed to cry your heart out for as long as you need.

4. Go On A Diet
Stop crying. We just talked about that! Besides, I wasn't calling you fat. But I you can bet your sweet patootie that I was referring to your SO. Yeah, that's right. He/She is an added 100+ pounds that you can do without, so get rid of him/her. I know breakups can be painful but when you think of it as having lost weight then it will cheer you right up. Next time "the love of your life" turns into "the person you wish would dies a slow and painful death" and your friends start asking if you two broke up. Simply say, "Oh, I just lost 200lbs. Don't look fabulous without all that extra fat dragging behind me?"

5. Listen To Both Sides
No, I'm not talking about being fair. Who cares about that, right now? I'm talking about the genius that is Joni Mitchell. Her masterpiece, Both Sides, Now, is poignant and spellbinding. The lyrics are quite possibly the most clever words ever put to music, sorry Kanye. CLICK HERE to have a listen, and CLICK HERE to check out the words. The song is about seeing the world in two different ways. The way we saw things in our youth and how we see things once we're older and jaded and the realization that comes with age, that we really don't know what we think we know. It makes you appreciate the beauty of living life, and all the good and the bad that goes with it.